Am I a Hoarder?
I think that if I did more blogging I would probably find myself repeating the same complaint: It is very difficult to begin.
The problem is not that I have a scarcity of ideas or words. The problem is, in fact, the opposite. There is an overabundance of words and ideas swirling around in my mind. It’s like living in a house with too much stuff that has been collected over the years. Eventually, in such a house, freedom of movement becomes very limited. The only option one has to get from one room to another, after the floor is covered with stuff, is to clear a path by getting rid of stuff – either by throwing it away, selling it, or giving it away.
There is a tendency, I believe, to become a hoarder of stuff if we live in one place for an extended time. The possessions of Hunter/Gatherer tribes were minimal because owning too much stuff had a negative value. Anything that had to be carried was an encumbrance.
But, my analogy has caused me to digress. My intention is not to complain about having too much stuff (although I often do), I want to find a solution for being encumbered – paralyzed even – with too many words and ideas.
It occurs to me this morning, that my ego may be the problem. With a world full of people speaking and writing, it seems that there are too many words out there for mine to make much of a difference. I begin writing, and then discover that someone has written what I intend to write – but better than I can. So why should I write? My ego tells me that unless I can be the best at what I do, it’s not worth doing. Damn ignorant ego! Fortunately, I can choose to hear a wiser voice.
That wiser voice, which I choose to identify as the voice of the Spirit, tells me that words are gifts that we offer to one another to meet one another’s need to understand. I can hoard the gifts of words that I’ve been given, or I can pass them on to others who may have similar needs to mine. Each word offered, as it is passed around in a community of givers, includes a portion of the life of the giver. Sharing our words is a form of sharing life.
The really cool thing about giving words is that, unlike material things or money, they are not given “away”. I am not less for giving, I am more … and my capacity to be more is increased. And, while I realize that at times I talk too much, or that my writings are too “wordy”, the solution is not to hoard my thoughts, but to listen more – especially to that voice of the Spirit as she speaks to me through my neighbors.